Are you a victim OR a VICTOR?
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Are you going to be a victim or are you going to be a victor? I’m sure some of you may be saying, you have no clue girl. Well, neither do you. I don’t know what you’ve been through in life any more than you know what I have been through. So we’re even but, it’s not about that right now. Listen if you get anything from reading this it is that I want you to know…YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!
We’ve all been through some stuff
True story, we’ve all been through some stuff. Some worse than others. So I get it, I don’t know what you’ve been through. Here’s what I do know though. No matter what you go through or what happens in life, they’ll be a time where you may not quite get why it’s happening to you and you’ll think it’s not fair. Life is pretty much NOT FAIR kids. Sadly the sooner you learn that the better off you’ll be.
Here’s why I say that. EVERYTHING in your life will test you. It will test your strength, your emotions, your willpower and so much more. You may feel like you are treading water and can hardly stay above the waves but YOU WILL MAKE IT. I promise you!!
I know a lot of people who have been through some serious $hit in their lives and somehow they find a way to push through and move forward. I’m sure some days are much harder than others but I swear I always see them with a smile on their faces, even if it’s smiling through the pain. I seriously don’t know how some of them do it but they do and just knowing what they’ve gone through and how they have chosen to learn from it and try to work through the bad days, it honestly inspires me and makes me realize that if they can make it through something like that, I can make it too.
I’ve learned a lot from those people in my life who have ” gone through it” and lived to tell.
What are you going to do about it?
So some things have happened to you in life and it’s not fair and you feel like a victim to your circumstances…WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?
Maybe right at this point, you want to punch me in the face but hear me out for just one minute here. Did you ever think that maybe, just maybe all these crazy things that happen to us in life, fair or not, are some kind of lesson for us to learn and then go forward and help other people?
It happened, so now what? What can you do to work through it all? Notice, I didn’t say what can you do to “Get over it”…you may never get over it, whatever it is BUT, you CAN work through it. That’s a choice that is all up to you.
I always look at the things that I have gone through and ask myself WHAT can I learn from this and how can it make me stronger? How can I use my story to help others? Now, mind you, only some of the chapters of my story are out and that may be the same for you. You can’t expect people to understand all you’ve gone through or why you’re bitter over things when you bottle them up. Now, I’m also not saying you need to let your whole story out, that is up to you. There are parts I may never let out and I’m okay with that. I can still work through all of it and help others.
It is serving you?
I get it, sometimes things may happen to you and you are so bitter and hurt over it you keep it bottled up and “no one understands”. You’re right no one may ever understand but I want you to understand this. If you remain bitter about it forever, you may be missing out on your life! Remaining angry about something forever does you no good. It actually makes life SUCK even more than you think it does.
I am not by any means telling you to “suck it up” But what I am telling you is to go ahead and have your bitter feelings BUT don’t let them consume you. You have every right to have whatever feelings you need to have to help you through the process BUT do not stay there. It doesn’t serve you. All it does it tear you up more. It’s not allowing you to heal and work through things if you stay there.
I get it, you can’t ignore the pain you’ve been through. You may never be able to fully leave it all behind. The only thing you CAN do is try your hardest to find some good that came out of it…even if that takes you forever to figure out.
I’ll never get past this…
You may think you’ll never get past any of it. I’m here to tell you that you CAN and you WILL. It may not be next week and it may not be next year but when you choose to be the victor, you’ll move forward with your healing. Don’t let anyone or anything decide what you get to have and feel in life. Refuse to let these things eat you up, take back your power and let it make you stronger.
You can survive and throve because you deserve it. I get that $hit happens and some of us go through worse $hit than others but you can get through it. The only way is to keep fighting. You ARE stronger than you think.
You can’t always be a victim to your circumstances, do not let what happened to you DEFINE you! BE the victor and be strong..even on the days when you feel like you’re going under. The very fact that you are here reading this means you are a fighter and you’re fighting against whatever it is that is trying to pull you under.
If you are always playing the victim, you’ll find that even the littlest things in life “are not fair” and they’ll eat you up if you let them. Instead, find a way to turn it around. What can you learn from this? How can you do to help others from what you have learned? What can you do to turn it around and work through it?
I get that not all things that happen to us in life are the same as what someone else is going through. Some people go through more traumatic things than others. What I do know is this…misery loves company and I won’t play that game. What I will do and have done when the $hit hits the fan in life is I WILL talk about it. I try not to play the victim but I’ll talk about it in a way that will help me work through it. Whether that be talking to a friend who will listen and help guide me in what best serves me OR even going to a therapist to work through things. I’m not ashamed to say I’ve done either of those. It has helped me tremendously with a LOT of things in life. Especially when I was at a point where NOONE was there for me and did NOT understand a damn thing I was going through.
A wise person once told me, you have to go through it to get to it…the IT is the life that is waiting for you on the other side once you make it through.
You’ve got this, my friend!!
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